Willy Wonka & his Chocolates!

Here are some classic mathematics answers!Heez...
If it was so easy!
Really expand sia...this is the funniest...


Subject: 15 Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner is taking their own sweet time(Can try at Carrefour or Giant)

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.

3. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

4. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.

5. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?!"

6. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.

7. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

8. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from "Mission Impossible."

9. In the auto department, practice your 'Madonna look' using different size funnels.

10. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say, "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

11. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

And last but not least...
12. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while, then loudly yell, "There is no toilet paper in here!"


Here's another!

Three men were discussing aging on the steps of the nursing home.

"Sixty is the worst age to be," announced the 60 year old. "You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand at the toilet and nothing comes out!"

"Ah, that's nothing," said the 70 year old. "When you're 70, you can't take a crap anymore. You take laxatives, eat bran - you sit on the toilet all day and nothing comes out !"

"Actually," said the eighty year old, "Eighty is the worst age of all.""Do you have trouble peeing too?", asked the sixty year old."No ... not really. I pee every morning at 6AM. I pee like a race horse - no problem at all."

"Do you have trouble taking a crap?", asked the 70 year old."No, not really. I have a great bowel movement every morning at 6:30."

With great exasperation, the 60 year old said, "Let me get this straight. You pee every morning at six o'clock and take a crap every morning at six thirty. What's so tough about being eighty?"

To which the eighty year old replied - "I don't wake up until ten!" ....heez!

What a twist...

A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son Playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop & her son saying, "All of you *******s who want to get off, get the hell off now, 'cause this is the last stop! And all of you *******s who are getting on, get your *** in the train, Cause we're going down the tracks."

The horrified mother went in & told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room & stay there for TWO HOURS.

When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language.

"Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom & resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped & the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you.We thank you for travelling with us today & hope your trip was a pleasant one." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you who have just boarded, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seats. Remember, smoking is not allowed on this train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."

As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOURS delay, pls direct yr complaints to the fat***** in the kitchen." Thank you for travelling with us.